San Diego Mini-Vacation: Day 2

Our second day in San Diego started at about 7:30.  Lily woke up asking for Mommy, but would still hold my hand as long as I didn’t say much.  We got dressed and headed down to the Handlery lobby for breakfast.  With our upgrade, we got a free continental breakfast, but I wanted something more.  I ordered the 3-in-3 omelet which was three eggs scrambled with my choice of three ingredients.  I chose Monterey Jack cheese, tomatoes, and mushrooms.  It was delicious, and it came with hash browns and multigrain toast.  I figured (correctly) that I’d be walking all day, so I made sure to eat it all, even if I was a little more than full.  The girls shared Cheerios, blueberry yogurt, fresh melons, and oatmeal with raisins.  In my opinion, a very nice meal to prepare us for what turned out to be a very busy day. 

We arrived at Sea World a little bit early.  The morning was a bit cold and drizzly, but that didn’t dampen our spirits at all.  We got our yearly Fun Cards and prepared for a rush to the Rocky Point Reserve for the 10:00 dolphin feeding. 

The dolphin feeding was not the same experience I remember as a child.  I seem to recall going right up to the dolphin tank wall and waiting for them to come to you so you could feed them the fish.  It’s very organized now, and I’m sure it’s more profitable for Sea World to charge $6 per person aged three and up for three fish and three touches.  For me, though, it was totally worth it.  I got to watch Lily overcome her initial fear of touching the dolphin, and I got to pet the dolphin myself, which was pretty cool.  It was an exhilarating start to the day. 

We left the Rocky Point Reserve and headed over to Pacific Point, where we purchased more fish to feed the sea lions.  Lily’s first reaction upon seeing the sea lions was “Aw, so cute”.  Even a two year old can recognize the emotional and cognitive expressions common to mammals.  Those big eyes strike a cord in our hearts that seems to say to us “I have feelings, and I am intelligent, just like you.”  Then you hear the impatient barking and howling as they realize that you have fish, and are taking just a bit too long to get it into their mouths.  And don’t bother throwing the small fish, because these picky pinnipeds will just toss those aside.  They get fussy when it’s time to eat, and are finicky and critical when the food finally gets there.  Yes, they are a lot like us.     

Our next stop was the Shark Encounter.  I remember being really excited about this when the exhibit first opened.  This time, for me, it was kind of a dud.  Lily really liked it, though, and that's the most important thing.  It gets easy to be critical of these kinds of attractions as an adult.  We are used to seeing sharks all the time on TV and getting a week-long dose of these powerful predators every summer during Shark Week on Discovery Channel, but Lily got to see a real shark swim slowly right overhead.  Slow enough for Heather to point out to Lily the mouthful of backward facing razor sharp teeth.  Lily has now been up close and personal with a real shark, not Lenny from Shark Tale.  That is now in her memory.  It’s part of who she is.  The fact that I was less than blown away by it doesn’t matter at all, and I guess that is the lesson.  Just because something may not be a big deal to us does not mean it’s insignificant to our little ones.  That goes across the board, and I’m glad I was reminded of that.    

After the Shark Encounter, we made our way to watch the shark’s acrobatic arch-rival in action at the Blue Horizons Dolphin Show.  What we saw at this show was a little bit of dolphin, a moderate amount of pilot whale, and a whole lot of humans swinging around on trapezes dressed up like birds from the Tiki Room at Disneyland.  Rather disappointing when you are expecting a dolphin show.  Lily agreed, and upon her signal, we left about halfway through the show. 

We wandered around a bit after that, and ended up at the California Tide Pool where Lily got to hold a sea star.  In her excitement, she kept bringing the sea star up out of the water, but the worker was kind as she reminded Lily several times that sea stars need to be underwater to breathe.  Lily was intrigued by the hundreds of little tube feet on the underside of the sea star, and the fact that she got to hold it in her own hands will add to her confidence as she encounters new animals and new experiences in general.   

For mommy and me, the humorous highlight of the day was when Lily got to play in a small semi-bouncy playground with soft oversized blocks to stack and throw.  Shortly after arriving, Lily looked over at us, pulled her pants down, and started rolling around on the ground like a crazy person.  My first thoughts were “Please let this be the last time she ever feels the compulsion to do this.”  We were promptly informed by the playground supervisor that Lily did indeed need to be wearing pants to play, so she allowed herself to be hindered by her clothes for a short time before we exited the area for a much needed nap. 

During Lily’s nap, Heather and I probably logged about 5 miles of meandering through the park, trying to avoid large noisy crowds so that Lily could sleep.  By the end of her nap, Heather and I were exhausted, so after some climbing around on giant nets which Lily referred to as “spider webs” because of her affinity for Charlotte’s Web and all bugs in general, we left Sea World in search of sustenance. 

The rest of the night was pretty regular, except for my oustanding meal at the Bay Park Fish Company.  I had never tasted macadamia nut crusted halibut before, and it completely knocked my socks off.  An ample sized filet of fish on top of mashed potatoes, asparagus, and carrots, along with a Calico Pale Ale (or three) was the cherry on top of a wonderful day at Sea World with my girls.  One of the best meals I’ve had in a long time, and if you find yourself hungry in San Diego, look this place up.   

That pretty much sums up Lily’s first Sea World experience and my first Sea World experience as a dad.  Just a side note, if any of you are teachers, get the Fun Card.  It’s free, and Sea World is the perfect sized park for kids.  It’s interactive.  You can do a lot of stuff in a short amount of time.  And you’re in San Diego, which is a great city to spend time in.  

'Til next time.  Cheers.

Cooking gumbo with Lily

Lily and I are cooking gumbo because we both love the movie The Princess and the Frog. This smells amazing. Every time I have eaten okra, however, I have hated it. I have never cooked gumbo, but so far so good I think. We'll see in a few hours.

Feeding Dolphins

This was probably the biggest highlight of our first day at Sea World and a must-do attraction. It gets crowded quickly so you have to get there right when the park opens. Well worth the six dollars per person for three touches and three fish.

Today we are hoping to make it to the Shamu Believe show before it fills to capacity. Wish us luck!

San Diego Mini-Vacation: Day 1

Today started out like any other day.  Lily woke up.  I got up.  We started breakfast, and then Heather got up.  The only difference was our knowledge that at the end of the day, we’d be in San Diego getting ready to go to Sea World.  Before leaving, we attended a princess-themed birthday party for one of Lily’s best friends.  The highlights of the party for Lily (besides time with her BFF) seemed to be the castle-shaped bounce house, the magical bubble wands, and the small car slide.  After all the gifts were opened and all the cupcakes consumed, the McDonalds left the building and hit the road to begin a fun-filled oceanic adventure. 

The trip down I-5 was uneventful except for the nice conversation Heather and I had while Lily napped.  We checked in to the Handlery Hotel, upgraded to a suite (sweet), and then headed to a restaurant called Casa Guadalajara in Old Town San Diego for dinner.  We were seated within five minutes, and had chips and salsa in our bellies within six.  The first thing we noticed were the sparrows that swooped overhead and bravely settled into the unoccupied chairs at our table.  Lily absolutely loved this.  She also loved the large fountain right next to our table.  She threw a couple of pennies, made a couple of wishes, and then began a magic show where she would make her apple juice disappear under a napkin.  Every time she would cover up the juice and ask us semi-seriously with upturned palms “Where’s the juice? Where’s the juice?”  She would then unveil the mystery and reveal to us that the juice was there the whole time.  We fell for it every time. 

Dinner was just okay.  Lily had a bean and cheese burrito, which made me a little jealous.  I ordered the Rajas Poblanos, which was basically a roasted pepper and potato cheese bowl.  I felt like it was a dish that anyone can make by sauteeing peppers and onions, cutting up some French fries, and stirring it in some cheese.  Heather had chicken mole enchiladas, which were better than my Rajas Poblanos, but still just average.  This place has nothing on El Farolito in Placentia.  The best item by far that we tasted at Casa Guadalajara was the homemade flour tortillas.  Fresh and hot, these were a great way to whet our appetites for an unfortunately less than flavorful meal that cost about $50.    

After dinner, Clan McDonald headed back to the Handlery for a swim.  The evening breeze made it a little cold, but that did not deter our determined little Lily.  Armed with gigantic yellow floaties, Lily bravely swam by herself, and kept telling us to let her go whenever we got concerned for her safety.  I had to remind myself of my developmental psychology courses where I learned that it is important for kids to have these sorts of successes on their own.  Successes build confidence, and since it was swimming, she was building balance and muscle tone as well.  I felt immense pride watching Lily swim, and even more proud to hear her say “Want to practice” when we tried to talk her into going back to the room to get warm.  She ignored her shivering because she wanted to master this new skill.  Who wouldn’t be proud of that? 

We hustled back to the hotel room to clean up and warm up.  After baths and showers, we reconvened in Lily’s room for cheese puffs, peach cups, and an 8:00 showing of Up (Lily’s choice).  When Lily saw Mr. Fredricksen as a 78 year old man, she said "Him Grampa. Look like daddy."  I asked her "Do I look old like that?"  She looked at me and said "No, you're my daddy."  I just thought "Yes, Lily, I am your daddy, and there's nothing else in the world I'd rather be."  Halfway through the movie, Lily is rubbing her eyes, covering herself up, and denying that she is ready for bed.  Five minutes later, she is kissing me good night and scampering off to her room so mommy can read Time for Bed and sing our flower to sleep.  Now it’s off to bed for mom and dad, as well.  We all need our rest.  Tomorrow will be a busy day filled with orcas, dolphins, sharks, and rays.  For the first time in non-animated and non-digital form.     

Cheers.   

Free and Easy Outings With Your Child

It’s easy to get into a rut where you sit around the house taking care of your baby or plunking him or her down in front of the TV.  Here are some tips to avoid cabin fever with your youngster without spending a dime. 

Take a walk

Right from the start, whether it’s in a stroller or a baby carrier, go for walks with your child.  It provides exercise and a wealth of things to talk about with your baby.  It’s amazing how receptive our kids are, even from infancy.  Babies are little sponges, but they just can’t tell you what they’re learning yet.  Talk to them about trees, clouds, car sounds, birds chirping, the wind on their skin, the warm sun, or just sing them a song while you walk.  All of this helps you connect with your little one. 

One of the first walks I remember with Lily was when we went to the Trader Joe’s by our house to get a pumpkin to carve for Halloween.  She was just over a month old, but we talked to her the whole way there (until she fell asleep).  We just described where we were going, talked about the weather, explained what we were going to do with the pumpkin when we got back home – anything that was relevant to what we were doing outside of the house.  This is important for kids and babies.  They hear your tone.  They hear what you like to talk about.  They simply like hearing your voice.  Going for walks can lead to a lot of stimulating conversations with your child, but you have to make it a regular thing from the beginning.  Don’t wait until they can walk to go for walks.    

Walk to a neighborhood park

Parks are great.  Sure, some are better than others, but city parks are a fantastic form of free entertainment for your child, and a great way to break up the day.  Use Google Maps to find parks near your home, and then go check them out for yourself.  My daughter is two, and she loves running around the playground trying to recruit other kids to play with her.  If the park has a duck pond, you can take some stale bread or crackers and feed the ducks.    For those of you with newborns, put the little one in a stroller and talk to her all the way to the park.  If you want an added workout, ditch the stroller and put the baby in the Baby Bjorn.  In addition to the cardio and the special time with your child, watching other kids play on the toys and interact with each other gives you a glimpse into your child’s future, so you have a good idea of what to expect when your baby grows up a bit.   

Visit the Fullerton Arboretum

If you live in Orange County, I recommend visiting the Fullerton Arboretum located on the north end of the Cal State Fullerton University campus.  The Arboretum suggests a donation, but they will not bar access if you don’t have cash on you.  If you can donate a few bucks, however, it is worth it.  There is a large pond with ducks and turtles for little ones to watch and ask about.  The scent of lavender and citrus blossoms waft through the air, and there are a few different gardens to explore.  There is a nice desert area, for example, where agave, cacti, and the lizards that love them can be enjoyed without the blistering heat of the actual desert.  There are also a woodlands garden which includes evergreens and trees you’d find in a rain forest.  This is just a sample, but there are a lot of different types of trees, plants, and flowers to learn and teach your youngster about.  If you don't live in Orange County, or don't want to drive to Fullerton, research arboretums in your area.  Not all of them are free, so check for fees if you are set on a money-free outing.      

Go to the mall

Going to the mall suggests spending money, but babies and toddlers really aren’t into spending.  So if you can control your own spending urges this is a free trip.  Like the library, you have a stabilized temperature, so this is a good trip to get out of the house no matter what cards the weather deals you.  Many malls have playgrounds for youngsters, and if not, an escalator can be an intriguing attraction to your little one.  Hopefully you don’t mind riding it up and down a few times.  Don’t worry, anyone who has had a kid will understand and empathize with your situation.  In addition to the playgrounds and escalators, just observing the different types of stores can be an adventure.  Different stores may have different smells and different music.  The key here is just exposing your child to new experiences.  They remember a lot more than you may think and they can hold on to those memories for a quite a while (some have said up to six months without any other reinforcement).  Something that happens at the mall may just be relatable to another experience later down the road.  Then the conversation becomes “Hey, those stairs are kinda like the escalator at the mall, but stairs don’t move, do they?”  Sounds obvious and simple, but that’s how smart kids are made.      

Go to a pet store

This, too, may imply money, but it doesn’t have to.  Kids love animals, and zoos cost money, so where is a kid going to see a lot of animals for free?  The pet store.  Comparing and contrasting is an important thought process, and the pet store is a wonderful place to practice this skill.  You have mammals, reptiles, fish, and birds to compare.  Different kinds of these animals to compare.  Different habitats.  Different types of food for each.  This place is a treasure trove of conversation pieces, and your child will definitely be engaged.  Personally, I don’t recommend buying from a pet store for reasons like puppy mills and poor treatment of some of these animals, but going to a pet store is a great way to get an idea for what kind of pet you’d like to get your child eventually (and I do recommend getting a pet at some point – they can be great playmates with your child at home).  If you're looking for a pet, go to Petfinder.com, or a similar site to shop for a pet and save an animal's life. 

Take a hike

This is probably not for those with newborns, but once your little one is about a year old, you can strap them into a Baby Bjorn or a hiking backpack with a child’s seat and go hiking.  It’s a great workout for you, and connects your child with nature.  At first, you may not go for very long hikes, but as your child becomes more mobile, the hikes can get longer. 

Look for nature centers in your area.  Our family likes the Oak Canyon Nature Center in Anaheim Hills.  On weekends, they place a box for a $2 donation, but there isn’t a ranger that will bar access or anything like that.  If you can support the nature center, do so, but if you don’t have any cash on you, don’t worry.  There are several trails there, and plant guides that can help you sound like an expert to your child as you point out plants like wild cucumber and sage.  If you happen to grow sage at home, you can connect this experience with something at home.  If you don’t have herbs at home, maybe this is a good time to start a small garden, again, to connect the experience of the hike with something at home. 

Go to the beach

The beach is a wonderful tactile and audio experience for your child, no matter how young.  Letting your baby’s feet and hands touch the sand and cool water can be an important experience your child will learn from.  The warm sun and cool sea breeze on her skin are also things your baby will love, and it’s another topic of conversation for you.  You can’t talk too much to your baby, so tell her what’s happening.  “Do you feel the wind on your skin?  Do you hear the seagulls?  They’re trying to get our food!”  The first time we took Lily, she was just three months old.  She loved the sound of the waves crashing on the shore and the gulls overhead.  This trip takes a little planning, and possibly another person to help, but it can be done on your own if you have a large cooler bag to bring with you and a Baby Bjorn to free up your hands.    

Visit a college campus

One of my favorite things to do with Lily lately has been to eat breakfast at the Filling Station Cafe, then go for a stroll around Chapman University.  Visiting a school campus of any kind is good for exposing children to learning, but often colleges have other amenities like fountains and large quad areas for kids to run around and explore.  Going inside some of the buildings can provide opportunities to talk about what goes on in the classrooms and the important people who have contributed to different fields of learning.  I recently took some pictures of Lily next to the busts of Abraham Lincoln and Albert Schweitzer.  That gave Lily the fun opportunity to sit up high on the dais of the statue, and gave me the chance to explain who these men were and why they are important. 

If you have a newborn, a college campus can still be a place for you to talk about new things with your little one.  If there are fountains, your baby will enjoy the calming sounds and you can talk about the water cycle or gravity or some other dad type thing to talk about.  If there are trees and grass (and there usually are) it can become a tactile experience for your child to touch the tree bark or have the grass tickle her little hands and feet.  These are just the types of things babies need to stimulate their minds.  Just make sure no grass or dirt ends up in any baby orifices, and clean the hands and face right afterwards. 

Check out your local library

Personally, I have always loved libraries.  They’re always set at a cool temperature, they’re quiet, and they have TONS of books!  Libraries are an easy way to get your little one and yourself out of the house, even on hot days when you don’t feel like going for a walk.  Most libraries have a section where you can let your youngster roam relatively freely and play with puzzles or interact with other kids.  If you have a newborn, hit the picture book section.  Books about animals or children are awesome.   I also recommend poems for children of all ages.  The rhythmic nature of poems is relaxing and great for nap time.  The patterns also make it easy for kids to remember the words.  Lily had just turned two years old when she could finish every one of the 16 lines of Jack Prelutsky’s “It’s Raining Pigs and Noodles”   Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein are also must haves.  Your local library is a great place to get fresh books for free, so don’t spend a ton of money building up a huge library for your child.  Kids enjoy new books.  After a few months, go back and get some of the books your youngster enjoyed from a previous visit.  It will be like a brand new experience because they’re so much smarter than before.   

These are just a few things I've done with my daughter.  Your geographic location or interests may not be amenable to some of these ideas, but most are easy trips that don't take a lot of time and effort.  Have fun exploring!

So You're Going To Be A Daddy

Here are five things I learned from my first go-round at being a dad. I hope you find them helpful. 

Do something special for the mom-to-be

The baby on the way is going to take center stage in your life, but mom still needs to feel special and beautiful.  Take her to a bed and breakfast for a weekend.  Buy her some diamond earrings.  If the budget is tight, write her a letter or poem reminding her of how important she is to you. 

Do something special for the baby

It is important for your wife or girlfriend to know that you are excited about the baby that you two made together.  Make a little gift basket for your little one that includes some baby essentials.  Pacifiers, onesies (gender neutral if you don’t know yet), swaddling blankets, and some flowers that can be dried and kept as a memento are a good start. 

Read

If you’re reading this, then you are on the right track. 

Reading for her

Go to your public library and check out books about what your wife or girlfriend is going through.  This support for will mean a lot to her.  She is going to be very tired for the first few months, so if you can learn about what's happening in her body and mind, it will help you empathize with her experience.  It seems to have a sort of grounding effect if you're able to summarize for her what is happening with her and the baby inside of her.  Just don't show her any pictures of how wide ten centimeters actually is.  That might undo all of your hard work. 

Reading for/to the baby

Don’t wait until the baby is born to start reading about how to take care of the physical, emotional, cognitive needs of your baby.  You may not get much reading done between feeding and changing your newborn every couple of hours, working on six hours of broken sleep.  Be armed with knowledge before your precious gift enters the world.  Reading to the baby in the womb is also a great way to connect with mom and the baby.  It shows mom that you are involved, and it creates a stronger bond with your child. 

Reading for you

Look for books or literature about what fathers can expect during a pregnancy.  All the books I found talked about preparing yourself to support your wife and baby emotionally and financially.  It is important to be aware that YOU ARE HAVING YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE AS WELL.  Frustrations about having to do more around the house can build up.  Stress about money.  Fears about being a bad dad.  These can all take their emotional toll, and they are legitimate feelings.  Try to find books or articles about what you can expect to experience emotionally.  If you can’t find any, go on to the next step.

Talk to other fathers

Since there isn’t a wealth of information to support you in your emotional response to the titanic experience of bringing a child into the world, talk to other dads.  The truth is that your wife/girlfriend will be very tired during the first trimester, so you will have to clean the house more, walk the dogs more, do more cooking, and run more errands.  This can build up stress after a while, so talk to dads who have been through what you are going through and can empathize with you.  I don’t recommend venting to your wife, who is having a totally different and more demanding experience.  You just won’t get the empathy you need.    

Reprioritize

Prepare to be on call for your wife. Be aware that you now have different, more important things to take care of.  The days of playing online poker for hours are over for a while - or should be.  From the moment you two realize you are having a baby, mom-to-be will start looking at you as a father-to-be, and you need to be ready to take care of your family.  This includes spontaneous trips to the store for ice cream and late night KFC runs. This includes being supportive when your wife starts to cry over an open refrigerator door because she can’t find anything she wants to eat.  This includes helping prepare the house for a baby.  This includes bracing yourself for less sleep, less working out, less time to yourself. 

So what’s the payoff? 

The indescribable, intense, and instant feeling of love and pride and desire to just care for this new miracle that has entered your world.  The joy and relief you feel when you first hear your child cry out.  The god-like feeling of largeness and tenderness you feel when your newborn rests peacefully on your chest while you recline for just a while.  Your child is a new and fantastic reason to try to be a better person.  Prepare yourself to love something like you’ve never loved anything else in the entire world.