Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the tale of Acrisius and Perseus. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about how the fear of death can lead to control issues and strained relationships with our children.
In Greek mythology, Acrisius was a king whose only child was a daughter. He asked an oracle if he would ever have a son, and the oracle told him that not only would he never have a son, but that his daughter would have a son who would kill him.
Fearful of death, Acrisius locked his daughter Danae away in an underground house, with only a small opening in the top of it for air. As with most plans of men, Acrisius’ plans were thwarted by fate. Zeus, the god of all gods, entered Danae’s room as a ray of sunlight, had relations with her, and nine months later the hero we know of as Perseus was born. The enraged Acrisius put his daughter and grandson in the way of death (he couldn’t kill them outright because the gods would kill him and curse his family), but they miraculously survived. Years later, Perseus gets famous for beheading Medusa, but after that, he also attends an athletic contest where he throws a discus that veers off course and hits his evil old granddad in the head, thus killing him and fulfilling the oracle’s prophecy.
The story of Acrisius is a story of our fear of death, or maybe our fear of being forgotten. I feel like Acrisius thinks that since he only has a daughter, there is no way his family line will continue. Instead of dealing positively with the situation and raising a strong and upright daughter, Acrisius selfishly tries to destroy any hope at all of continuing his family line.
When we have children, our mortality starts to stare us in the face more often than we’d like. When we look at our kids, we see our replacement in the world. For some, this can be hard to handle. When we take on the view, however, that we now have an investment in the future, it becomes our responsibility to nurture the growth of this seed we’ve generated. Flowers don’t produce seeds until they die. Humans, luckily, get to produce their seeds, then watch them sprout a little before they die. We can make our kids better people than we are. We can invest in the steady improvement of our family line and the human race in general. It is our job to do this. If we ignore this responsibility, then we are letting a potentially fruitful plant wilt, and our family name will degenerate.
Am I okay with the idea of dying? Not yet. I do know it’s going to happen, though, and that knowledge gives me an important perspective when I look at my daughter. My life is not my own anymore. I’ve got to love her and teach her as much as I can before my time comes. She is the future of my family, and she is going to go through her own challenges in life and make her own investment in humanity. Instead of being overbearing and controlling like Acrisius, it’s my job to give her confidence by letting her be successful at things without my help. Instead of hoping that I’ll always be the primary recipient of her love, it’s my job to teach her how to love and take care of others by making her feel cared for. It’s my job to teach her everything that I’ve learned on my journey through life so she’ll be more prepared for her own adventures.
Acrisius placed his daughter in an underground house in order to save himself from what proved to be an inevitable fate. As for Lily, I’m pretty sure she’s going to be the first space colonist, and I’m okay with that idea.
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