First Day of Preschool

So Lily started preschool this week.  It all happened kinda fast, but events proved that we were all ready for it.  The girls previewed the school that one of Lily’s friends attends, and she loved it so much that we decided to start the following week.  Mommy had a hard time preparing herself for the fact that our baby was going to be starting school, which was very understandable.  This is a big step for any family.  As parents, we are, for the first time, relinquishing some of the control of our most prized possession to someone outside of the family.  For Lily, she is embarking on a new social, emotional, and cognitive adventure.  Aside from being born, starting preschool is the biggest threshold experience Lily has encountered so far, and I’m glad to say that she faced it fearlessly and finished the first week with flying colors.

Here are some things we did that I think made the entire experience go more smoothly, with a few added highlights of the week. 

1.  Talk it up

This was pretty easy for us to do since Heather is in school right now.  Lily is familiar with the idea of going to school to learn things, and we always use the line from Finding Nemo “Are you ready to go to school to get some knowledge?”  Using this fun, familiar phrase helped to connect a cool movie, a familiar experience (Mommy going to school to get knowledge), and the idea of Lily going to school “to get some knowledge.” 

We also talked to Lily about some of the specific things she would be doing at school, which were basically the same things we do with her at home (reading books, painting, singing songs, playing on toys), but with other kids her own age.  Having done all of these activities at home made it easier for her to do them at school. 

2.  Take the day off work

If you can, take the day off of work and make the first day of school a memorable family experience.  I was glad I got to see Lily’s school and classroom and meet her teachers.  It provides an opportunity to display a connection among all of the adults who care for your child.  Lily saw both parents talking to her teacher, so she knows that we are both invested in her academic success.  The first day of school is a special day, and I’m happy I was there to drop Lily off, pick her up, and then talk about her exciting day to reinforce her learning and validate her experience. 

Another bonus from taking the day off was that I got to enjoy a very nice breakfast with Heather.  It kinda felt like we were dating again, and that was nice.  We had a short conversation about the little bit of guilt we felt for enjoying this time to ourselves so much.  We then quickly remembered that we didn’t just dump Lily off with a babysitter.  We helped our daughter take her first steps into a big, wide world, and this is just the first of many times that Lily will have experiences that are separate from Mommy and Daddy.  It would be more selfish of us to keep her pent up at home if she is ready to take some steps on her own.  Kids need to do things without their parents to learn what they are capable of, and we shouldn’t let our sentimentality get in the way of that. Once Heather and I realized this, we enjoyed the rest of our breakfast and the rest of the beautiful morning. 

3.  Use the buddy system

If possible, find a school where your child knows someone already.  This might be difficult, and we probably got lucky on this point, but the fact that Lily has a friend who goes to the same preschool was a big talking point for preparing her for her first day.  In the few days prior to the big day, we kept asking Lily “Are you ready to go to school to see __________?”  Then, when she walked through the door to her classroom, there was her good friend sitting at the table, setting a great example for her.  Luke had Obi-Wan Kenobi, Frodo had Sam, Merry, and Pippin, and Lily had her experienced little friend to guide her through her first day in a new world.  As we were getting ready to leave, some crazy kid was getting a little agro with all the books on the table, and Lily’s friend, in his quiet, gentle manner, just slid a book over to her and said “Here you go, Lily.” 

Thanks for being such a thoughtful friend, little man.  

4.  Tell your child who is in charge

To avoid any insecurity, which tends to lead to meltdowns, we let Lily know that her teachers were in charge while Mommy and Daddy were gone, and that she should listen to what they ask her to do.  Two year olds can be testy, and according to Lily’s teacher, on the first day she “needed some redirecting”, but “she was perfect for the first day”.  By the third day, Lily was a seasoned pro and followed all the routines flawlessly.  Children are smart and resilient, and they’ll adjust to their new life at school, but parents can make it a smoother transition by showing their children that they are working together with the teacher. 

Another benefit of exposing your child to new authority figures is that they have the opportunity to impress adults other than their parents (who are impressed by even the smallest things).  On Friday, Lily asked her teacher “Are you frustrated at him?”  Lily’s teacher was amazed that Lily knew such a big word.  I was very proud when Heather told me that Lily told her teacher “My daddy taught me that word.”  Then, immediately, I started thinking “Either her teacher thinks we are frustrated a lot, or that we are good communicators and teachers.”  Maybe it’s both, but either way, Lily got praise from an adult who doesn’t have to praise every little thing she does, and I think that is really important.

For the record, she also knows the word “special”.  I always tell her she’s “my special girl”, and the other day after I left for work, she told Heather “He’s my special daddy.  He’s nice.” 

Lesson for me:  Keep saying nice things to Lily… and just in case, try to be less frustrated.